Reflections on upcoming jail time

“the deeper part of me, the part guided by love”

by Samuel Chawla-Rios

I would be lying if I said that I’m not scared of going to jail. The reality is, a small part of me wishes I hadn’t told the judge that I would rather serve jail time than complete community service hours for my civil disobedience at the Nevada National Security Site this past Good Friday. That small part of me is guided by fear and self-preservation. What will happen to me in jail? How will this affect my future? As a minority in this current political climate, can my safety be guaranteed? Why expose myself to such risk?

But the deeper part of me, the part guided by love, makes it abundantly clear that this intentional surrender is about something bigger than myself. I have seen how the issues of nuclear weapons, environmental destruction, the horrors of drone warfare, and the destruction of indigenous land are all interconnected injustices. With this awareness, I am compelled by love to act to the utmost of my capacity for the healing of Earth and of all life.

And though, as I write this, I do not yet fully understand why jail must be an essential part of my particular sacred duty, I know one thing for certain: I must never let fear get in the way of what love asks me to do. So, on October 13, I will surrender myself to the Nye County Detention Center. But even truer still, I will make my unconditional surrender to the healing power of love.

[Samuel Chawla-Rios and Brian Terrell will each serve a four-day sentence at the Nye County Jail in Pahrump, Nevada for their Good Friday action at the Nevada nuclear test site.]